are you still at the devil's house?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
