I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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