don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
