i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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