Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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