What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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