the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
