She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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