I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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