I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
