Are we in a gay sports bar?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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