she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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