Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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