We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
