That's intense
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
