she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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