i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize