I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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