Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it glows. i had to have it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you never un-have a 4some
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
