I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.