scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
