He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
