I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
