Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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