There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
