then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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