i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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