i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
