How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
