I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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