I faked an abortion last night.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
