I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
