Where is the hickey?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
