Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize