Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
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Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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