The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
