a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
