my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We have started to decorate penises.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
