Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
zippers are such a cool invention
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
