why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
NoShamevember. You game?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
