he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
