But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We left an ass print on the piano.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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