watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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