I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
