Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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