i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
