haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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