Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
