ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
