you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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