Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
