I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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