So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
