get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
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The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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