I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
