I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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