I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Lo siento on account of my penis...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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