ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Randomize
