It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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