She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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